• About
  • Advertising
  • History
  • Staff
  • Contact

The Andersonian

The Anderson University Student Newspaper

Anderson University’s Student Newspaper

  • Campus News
  • Audio
  • Features
  • Arts & Culture
  • Opinion
  • Sports
  • Video
  • COVID-19
You are here: Home / Opinion / When home becomes just a place you visit

When home becomes just a place you visit

January 18, 2017 by Nikki Edrington

The clock is ticking, and my refrigerator is, indeed, running (perhaps I’ll see how far it gets before I go catch it).

My home growing up always made those noises. I never seemed to notice them. That was, until I moved into my own apartment this year. Suddenly, the noises I heard daily were drastically different. I noticed them for a few days—the hum of the air conditioner, the voices from people in the stairwell, and the ticking of the stove when you turn it on. Then, much like everything tends to do, it all blended in.

This past semester, I made it my goal to stay at school until Thanksgiving. It didn’t seem so long at first, and only truly felt that way when I realized it had been almost 13 weeks since I’d seen my family. I’d spoken to my parents at least once a day the whole semester, but still, 13 weeks seemed like an eternity when I realized it.

So, I went home at Thanksgiving, my goal accomplished. And, much to my surprise, everything at home was different.

Except it wasn’t different at all. Nothing had changed.

And yet, I spent the first fifteen minutes that I was home laughing about how small our refrigerator was. I paced up and down the hallway, looking for other things that had changed.

When I fell asleep that first night home in 13 weeks, I tossed and turned in my bed. I couldn’t seem to cover up just the right way and my pillow was really lumpy. How had I ever slept in this bed before?!

After my week home, I headed back to school to finish off the semester. Those three weeks rushed past, and when, finally, I headed home again, I took some extra supplies.

I brought my entire bed set from school—two pillows, a sheet and my comforter. I brought home every little thing I thought I may need while away from my own apartment for a few weeks—medicine for every ailment, three different perfumes, five pairs of boots and some ballet flats, and clothes to last six weeks—and, as always, touched barely any of it.

The feelings about home persisted, though. Nothing seemed the same anymore, and yet my parents insisted that nothing had changed.

Nothing but me, that is.

Here I am, back at school again. My clock is ticking, and my refrigerator is still running. And oddly enough, I’m home.

Home has always been wherever my family lived at any given time. Always. Until now, it seems.

Home, now, seems to be just a place I go to visit. When I’m there, I’m surrounded by people who have always and will always love me unconditionally. I’m snuggled for hours on end by my dog, who probably misses me the most out of anyone when I’m gone.

But even with all that love, home just isn’t home anymore. It’s a weird tension. It doesn’t sit comfortably in my bones. When I’m home, I’m home. But I’m also so far from it.

It’s no longer my house that I return to when school lets out. It’s my parents’ house. And yes, it’s always been my parents’ house…but now, it’s just…theirs. It’s not mine anymore. I’m not sure I know what to do with all of that.

So, I’ll sit in my chair in my apartment and try to sort through it all. I can’t be the only one who has ever walked this path.

Home, for me, is changing. It’s more than just a space or place or state of mind. It’s real, and yet it’s so far from it. What is home?

All I know now is that it’s not what, or where, I thought it was. It’s not that bedroom I put together at 16. It’s not the wall of photos I created or the corner with all of my painting supplies. It’s not the back roads or memory lane or even mama’s home cooking.

It feels so wrong to say it, but my parents’ house and where I grew up…it’s just not home anymore.

Nikki is a junior Christian ministries major from Mitchell, Indiana.

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Opinion

Watch

Jacey Crawford discusses the latest developments on campus, including the creation of a new musical.

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Miles Morey discusses this week’s sports highlights.

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

More Video

Listen

Raven Watch 2020-12-07

On this episode of the Raven Watch Podcast, Jordan is joined by former Big Ten Player of the Year and Indiana Pacer Clark Kellogg as they discuss displaying your faith in sports, Clark’s career as a player and broadcaster and his game of “H.O.R.S.E.” with President Obama.

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Raven Watch 2020-12-03

On this episode, Jordan Yaney sits down with senior soccer player Drew Sonnefeldt to discuss his soccer career, trips to Europe, hobbies, and dreams of playing professional soccer

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Raven Watch 2020-09-24

In the third Raven Watch Podcast, Jordan Yaney talks with Hannah Hawkins, a senior basketball player, about starting her freshman year 0-25, becoming more of a leader on the team and facing their one-on-one battle on the court freshman year. Thanks to our sponsor, the Folgate Agency. Please contact Steve Folgate for Allstate insurance and […]

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Raven Watch 2020-09-18

In the second-ever Raven Watch Podcast, Jordan Yaney talks with Kennedy Parker, a senior baseball player, about finding out last season was canceled while the team was in Florida, why he decided to come back for a fifth year and play and what he expects out of this year’s team.

Share this:

  • Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

More Audio

Follow

andersonianAndersonian@andersonian·
2h

Check out this week's video:

Reply on Twitter 1366814559072321537Retweet on Twitter 13668145590723215372Like on Twitter 13668145590723215373Twitter 1366814559072321537
Retweet on TwitterAndersonian Retweeted
AURavenWatchRaven Watch@AURavenWatch·
24 Feb

New Raven Watch is up now!

Tune in for highlights from this weekend’s basketball games, Rocket League playoffs, a volleyball update and more.

https://andersonian.com/2021/02/23/raven-watch-2021-02-23/

@AthleticsAU @andersonian @AURavensMBB @AURavensWBB @AUesports_ @Volleyball_AU @AndersonU @MilesMorey

Reply on Twitter 1364389375136714755Retweet on Twitter 13643893751367147554Like on Twitter 13643893751367147555Twitter 1364389375136714755
andersonianAndersonian@andersonian·
18 Feb

The AU Rocket League team has found success in their inaugural season.
Read more:
https://andersonian.com/2021/02/08/rocket-league-has-success-in-its-first-year/

Reply on Twitter 1362432324919517185Retweet on Twitter 13624323249195171851Like on Twitter 13624323249195171853Twitter 1362432324919517185
Load More...

The Andersonian, the student newspaper of Anderson University, Anderson, Ind., publishes a print edition and maintains this website. As a matter of institutional policy, the University administration does not review or edit Andersonian content prior to publication. The student editors are responsible for both print and online content. While the administration recognizes the role of the student press on a college campus and in journalism education, the views expressed in the Andersonian are not necessarily those of Anderson University.

© Andersonian 2017, All rights reserved · Site by Mere
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.